Thursday, February 18, 2010
I had another appointment with the high risk OB this week. The baby looked great and weighed 2lbs 3oz, which put her in the 53 percentile. She had her hand in front of her face (again), so we didn't get any pictures. Hopefully she won't be so camera shy at her next appointment!
The OB did mention one this that surprised me - she is going to recommend that my regular OB not let me go more than a few days past my due date. I am kicking myself for not asking her the obvious question - why? I'm sure it has to do with stress to my body and the baby squishing my lungs, but I'd prefer induction to be more of a game-time decision - why induce if I am doing well? I need to talk to her about this more at my next appointment! My main issue with being induced is that I've heard pitocin sucks :P
I also had my third and final glucose tolerance test yesterday. It was a 2-hour fasting test, just like the previous two times. This time was definitely the least enjoyable - I was soooo tired and starving when I woke up, and I wasn't allowed to eat anything or have my daily cup of coffee until four hours later, so I felt like complete shit by the time the test was done. And they gave me fruit punch flavored glucose this time, which made me want to barf :x I'm so glad I don't have to do that again! ::fingers crossed that I can keep eating my girl scout cookies::
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I talked to HR today, and they are going to ask my division manager to remind all of the supervisors that sharing personal medical information is unacceptable. I'm happy with their plan because my main goal was to prevent my boss from doing that again. And he'll probably have a guess that I filed a complaint.
In other news, I have a head cold. Fun times. Hopefully it doesn't get too bad or lead to an exacerbation. I've noticed that, since starting hypertonic saline, my colds don't turn into lung exacerbations nearly as often as they used to.
And, in more fun news, here is a bare-belly shot:
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
It looks like I am going to be talking to my HR representative tomorrow.
I had my monthly
I did talk to them about my work situation for a bit - yesterday, when I told my boss I had to leave early for a doctor appointment, he again asked for a write-up of what is going on. Grrrr. I had to remind him that I wasn't going to be doing that and he could expect something from HR once I get a chance to talk to the social worker at CF clinic, (she was out last week and hasn't called me back yet).
The people at the
My boss is also frustrating me because he has done NOTHING to offer to lighten my workload in light of my hours being cut back. We had a meeting yesterday, and I brought up (again) the fact that I am managing a $5 million project and we need to transition it over to someone to work on "while I am out." I haven't told him yet that I am not coming back, because I don't think I would be treated well, but I am trying to do what I can to make the transition as smooth as possible. So, I told him that I know a lot of women who are able to come into work one day and are put on bed rest the next day, so there's always a chance I may not be able to work up to my delivery date. His response, "Well, we'll start transitioning someone over a few weeks before your due date." WTF?? I told him, "Ooookaayy...but I know some people who have had to go on bed rest at my stage in the pregnancy." I didn't get much of a response.
Ugh. The primary reason this is a big deal to me is not because I am concerned about what my boss thinks of me. It's both because I don't want to leave them high and dry, and I want to keep my reputation with my clients. I am afraid that, if things aren't going well after I am gone, they will be blamed on me (easy scapegoat = girl who isn't around anymore). I really want to keep my good reputation with the client because I may, in the future, be able to get a part-time job working for them. I've already had someone mention the possibility of working 10-hours a week from home. That would awesome!
So, in light of all this, I think I am going to talk to someone I am close to who works for the client (and sometimes is the client). By close, I mean she is the only person at work who knew about my first pregnancy, and I told her about this one right away. Hopefully she can give me some advice on how to make sure my reputation isn't trashed when I leave.
Oh, and one other thing - I had the creepiest baby-related dream last night! I dreamed I was in college and sitting in math class, and my ex boyfriend was there (random), and the baby was kicking like mad. Suddenly, she started pushing her hand outward, so that you could see it was a hand from outside my belly. At first I thought it was so cool and cute and told the people around me, "Look!" But, then she kept pushing, and my skin started stretching around her bony fingers and you could see every single finger as though my skin were just flesh-colored plastic wrap. And then her arm started coming out, and you could see her arm bones in great detail. And she kept coming, and I knew her face was coming next...and then I woke up. SCARY!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I need to use my lunch break to blog about work.
For the past few weeks, my work schedule has REALLY gotten to me. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, working full-time and taking care of myself leaves me with very little free time. And being pregnant has made this worse. No big surprise. But, the past few weeks have been downright awful. Work has gotten extremely stressful, thanks to management totally overloading me. I have a Type A personality and like to do everything well. So, I’m not good at handling things when I am trying to cram 50-60 hours of work into 40 hours and can’t produce work up to my standards. People have been constantly calling me, stopping by my office, and emailing me asking for stuff. And they are getting annoyed with me.
To make matters worse, my sweet little babe has been keeping me up at night, so I have been exhausted. I try to go to bed around 9:30 and sleep until 7:00, but that’s still not enough time. But, with my current schedule, there’s no way I can go to bed earlier and still get in my workouts and breathing treatments. This means I have been exhausted and even less able to deal with the stress.
Last week things hit rock bottom and I ended up sobbing at work. If you really want to hear more about my craptastic week, I vented about to my Maine Nesties in these threads:
And, as I usually do when I get rundown and stressed-out, I got a little sick. Over the weekend my lymph nodes started hurting and my cough increased, meant a mild lung exacerbation.
Therefore, Greg finally convinced me that I needed to cut back my hours at work. I was (and still am) feeling extremely guilty about it, but, I asked the women on the CF forums for advice, and they all agreed it was the right thing to do. It was such a relief to learn that I am not asking for too much!
Luckily, I’m already approved for intermittent FMLA for my CF, so it should have been a simple conversation with my boss, right?
Of course, it hasn’t been quite that easy. My boss is not exactly the compassionate type - he comes from a company where, during job interviews, they have been known to tell people they expect work to come before family. So, when I explained things to him, he didn’t say, “Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.” Or, “Your health comes first.” Or even, “We’ll see what we can do to reduce your workload.” He just looked at me and asked me to provide him an explanation in writing. Ummm…excuse me? You want me to provide you with a write-up about my health condition? I.don’t.think.so. I don’t mind talking to him about my CF, but I am not a big fan of providing that in writing. At all. So, I told him, “I am not comfortable with that. I am going to talk to HR.”
HR suggested I have my doctor send them a note explaining things, and then they will send my boss something in writing that excludes info about my CF. The woman at CF clinic that I need to talk to is out this week, so hopefully I will be able to get this all taken care of next week. In the meantime, I told my boss that he can expect to see me between the hours of 10 and 4 and I will work more than that if I feel up to it. He still hasn’t offered any help, of course, so I think this is going to be a work in progress!
I think part of the reason I hate doing this is because, at my last job, someone overheard a manager say that I am not a reliable engineer because I have cystic fibrosis. That was the first time in my life I had heard of someone saying something like that about me. I guess if you consider me taking 10-15 sick days a year and busting my ass to make-up work when I am out as unreliable, then, yeah, I am. Otherwise, Fuck You :P
And now I don’t trust anyone in the working world. I have always been so open about my CF, and now I am afraid to say anything and feel like people are thinking less of me when I have to sacrifice work for my health. And I feel like they don’t believe me, (you can’t work because you have to go to the gym???), because I AM so healthy most of the time and many people are ignorant.
ANYWAY, so today there was a great article on the front page of the Austin American Statesman. The title was Running for His Life, and it’s about a boy with CF who has become an extremely successful runner, and how that has helped his CF. I think my favorite quotes are:
"His parents, Laura and Jimmy, started Brice in running when he was a younger boy with too much mucus in his lungs. Their story included the strong belief that Brice would be better prepared to manage the genetic disease if he were in top physical shape."
"When Brice was diagnosed at the age of 9, his parents reasoned that scaling the bleachers and running around the track at
"He soon will be individually responsible for taking his medicines, wearing the vibrating chest that loosens his lungs and going to the hospital, if he needs to, when he needs to. Because he has to."
The article is currently sitting in our breakroom right now. I think I may show it to my boss (See! I’m not making things up!).
And now, back to work!
Monday, February 1, 2010
And here is a 24w2d bump picture: