Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Newsflash: IF Messes with Your Head

Ugh, I am having a hard time relaxing. After so many months of disappointment and being so depressed for so long, I just can't believe I finally might get this happiness. The idea of seeing the heartbeat a few weeks from now, or going home for thanksgiving and showing off a little bump, or holding my baby in my arms, is still just a dream to me.

I peed on five sticks this morning. I woke up way too early again today, and I peed on another FRER - and the line was lighter than it was yesterday. So, I started freaking out. I peed on another FRER - still lighter. Then I peed on an internet cheapie - the line was darker than yesterday - phew! Then I peed on a digital - and this time it said "Pregnant" - double phew! Then I decided to pee on another internet cheapie to make sure the line really was darker - and it was. Hello Crazy, nice to meet you.

I feel nauseated, and that is also making me feel better. This is really saying something considering I have lived my entire life in terror of vomiting.

My mom is also really nervous. We decided to tell our parents right away because they have been along for this ride with us. When I told my mom, "I am pregnant again" she said, "Oooookaaayyyy...." and I was like, "Don't sound so excited." And, she admitted, "It's hard to be excited after what happened last time." That sucked. At least my sister was happy to hear the news (my sister rocks my world).

11 comments:

Maeghan said...

Hugs! You know we're all here for you. Oh, and there's nothing crazy about POAS many many times :)

Lindsay said...

Hahaha.. you are officially a serial tester. I am so excited for you!!

A/K said...

LOL--welcome to the world of making yourself feel better by peeing on things. I am totally a citizen of that country. Sorry about your mom's reaction...just remember how MANY people are very excited for you!!

Ronnie "Sickboy" Sharpe said...

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm VERY excited for you!

Ronnie

semperfiohana said...

ask for zofran! make zofran you friend!!! i had such bad morning sickness and it helped! congrats!!!

Nikki1007 said...

So excited for you! I know what you mean about IF screwing with your head. I still can't believe I am pregnant and I have 3 betas under my belt. I won't believe its real until I have a baby in my arms.

Alicea (mnbride1013) said...

I think I peed on a stick every day for 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. After trying for a year I just couldn't believe it was true. Have faith and know I'll be praying for you!

Erin said...

My dad reacted the same way as your mom and even though it broke my heart a little, watching the excitement as it got more and more real was worth it. Don't worry about crazy fears - they don't go away, trust me!! You just get a little more comfortable with them. I can't wait for your next appointment!

canamrelations said...

stop peeing! ;) I peed on about half a dozen sticks too. Congrats!
-QC

Heather said...

Best of luck, girlie girl! We're all here for you and hoping this one sticks!!

Racheous said...

I know it can be reassurring but PUT THE TESTS DOWN! I did that (subfertility, TTC after late missed miscarriage) and it did my head in!

That aside, I am so so so so thrilled for you and can totally relate to that indescribable feeling of fear and excitement and that notion of disbelief at the ability to feel it!

I'm checking to see every day how you're going! :D

 
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