I Got My Doppler!

My Hi Bebe fetal doppler arrived today. I decided to order it after spending too much time googling "missed miscarriage." After the spotting and losing some of my pregnancy symptoms, I was having a hard time relaxing. I knew today might be too early to hear the heartbeat, but I was excited to give it a try anyway.

When I got home from work, I immediately ripped open the package, lubed up the the probe and put it on my belly. I moved it around right above my pubic bone for about five minutes, but all I found was my own heartbeat. I was about to give up and was pretty bummed. Then, I found it. The most wonderful sound ever! The baby's heart was beating at 175 beats per minute. Greg and I both said, "There it is!" We listened for about 30 seconds, until Greg said "Stop poking it!"

Ahhhh...I am so happy right now. I now know we made it out of the extreme danger zone, and I can finally relax!

A Series of Belly Pics

I've been taking belly pictures every other week since my BFP, but I haven't taken the time to post them, so here they are:

3w4d (Right after BFP - I thought I was bloated that morning. Hahahahaha.)

6w0d

8w0d

10w0d

Boobies

This weekend I got to do something I have been dying to do for weeks: Buy a new bra! My boobs have definitely grown. Taking off my bra is the most painful moment of the day. Every time I change my shirt, Greg looks at me and whispers, "You have giant huge boobs."

At first I went to Victoria's Secret because I had a coupon and I didn't want to spend a ton of money on a bra I would only be wearing for a few months. The woman measured me and said I am a 34C. I told her I was surprised because I am normally a 32C, and I figured I had grown more than that. But, I trusted her. The bra she gave me was more comfortable than the one I was wearing, so I bought it.

The following day I wore my new bra and decided it was not very comfortable after all. The underwire would not stay against my rib cage, and the middle-front part of the bra would not tack down against my chest. So, I headed to my favorite place ever to buy a bra: Nordstrom. I love, love, love their customer service, but shopping there is definitely a splurge for me. The salesperson didn't just measure me over my shirt and tell me my size and walk away. She also looked at my new bra and identified what the issues where, and examined how some of their bras fit me. And, guess what? I am now a 34D! She found me the perfect bra that stays tacked down. So, I sucked it up and spent $60 on a bra I will probably only wear for a few months, but I decided the extra money is worth the comfort. And I only bought one, so I will be wearing the same bra every day for a while now :P

Now I have to start thinking about sports bras. I am trying to hold off on buying new ones, but boy are they getting snug!

Long Time No Blog

The past month has been crazy! Having CF and working full time means that my weekdays are crazy busy (I am working/workingout/commuting/getting ready from 6:30am to 9:00pm) and I really need my weekends to run errands, get stuff done around the house, and just relax on the couch. Add being pregnant and needing more sleep to the mix, and I have had zero free time during the week.

And, to top things off, Greg has to take the Professional Engineering exam next Friday, so he has been using every free moment to study. This means, instead of picking up some of my slack, he is doing even less than what he usually does, (such as cooking dinner – we’ve been eating pizza, canned soup, mac n’ cheese, and pasta). Needless to say, our house has been a clutter zone. Thank goodness we have cleaning people come every other week, or else there would probably be six inches of dust on everything.

Here have been our weekends since our BFP:

-Weekend of BFP (PG Week 3): In Houston for an Astros game and to visit friends

-Week 4: At Home

-Week 5: Visiting Friends in Pittsburg

-Week 6: At Home

-Week 7: BIL & SIL visiting for Austin City Limits Music Festival

-Week 8: In east Texas for a wedding

-Week 9 (This weekend): At Home

-Week 10: ILs in town to visit

So, by next week, it will have been two months since we've had two weekends in a row to get stuff done around here. It has been fun, but I am so ready for a break and some time to be able to do things like go out to dinner and watch a movie.

I think it is partially a blessing that my RE told me to take time off work to rest a few weeks ago, because, usually when our schedules get crazy like this, I get run down and sick. And when I get sick, it often leads to a lung exacerbation, which means needing antibiotics and risking permanent lung damage. Hence the reason I put such a high priority on sleep.

And this week, I have been catching up on sleep due to (mis)adventure we had last weekend. Here’s the story:

One of our friends was getting married at the remote resort in east Texas. He set aside a house on the resort for Greg and I, the couple we visited in Pittsburg (M&B), our closest Austin friends (S&C), my old roommate and her husband (H&S), the best man and his girlfriend, and two other people. Please note that we still had to pay for the house, (no complaints here, this is just semi-relevant to the story). We were really looking forward to spending the weekend with our friends.

Needless to say, I knew I might have trouble getting a ton of sleep. On Friday night, most of the people in the house stayed up until 2:00am drinking and playing cards. It was loud, but I had a room upstairs and my white noisemaker and earplugs, so I slept through most of it. And it ended at a reasonable hour.

Fast forward to Saturday night. The reception went until midnight. Greg, B (who is also PG), S, and I left a little early because we were tired and wanted to go to bed. Around 12:15, I went downstairs to get a drink, and a girl I’ve never seen before walked in and said, “The groom told everyone at the reception that the party is continuing here.” Fifteen minutes later, about 40 people showed up, and most of them were WASTED.

I was pretty ticked off. The groom didn’t even ask any of us if this was okay, and, considering we had paid for the house, I would have expected that courtesy. Five out of the 10 of the people staying there wanted to go to bed, and now it was so loud in the house that none of us could sleep. Around 3:00am, a sixth person staying in the house wanted to go to sleep. And still, none of us could sleep.

At 4:00am, M got up and asked people to please be quiet. The best man refused. M got pissed and decided to start doing homework in the living room, considering he wasn’t going to be sleeping.

At 5:30am, Greg went downstairs and asked everyone to be quiet. Again, the best man refused and told Greg, “NO! You guys were up loud until 2:00am last night. Fuck you if you think I am going to be quiet for you now!”

Greg, got PISSED, (and Greg does NOT get pissed easily), and said, “Look asshole! Turn off the goddamn radio and shut the fuck up or I am going to come over there and punch you in the fucking face!” At this, M joined in and started yelling at the guy.

FINALLY, my old roommate, (who, BTW, knew I was PG and had CF and about my need for sleep), turned the radio down and convinced everyone to go outside. Greg and I were able to go to sleep, and we slept for about three hours. However, M & B still couldn’t sleep because they were downstairs and people were being loud outside until 7:00am, so they didn’t sleep at all.

Needless to say, the following morning, you could cut the tension in the house with a knife. M, B, S, C, Greg, and I were giving the other people in the house the side-eye, and Greg kept saying, “I hope (the best man) gets up before we leave to so I can punch him!” (We left before he got up). Even now, if I mention the incident to Greg, he says, “If I see that guy again, I don’t know if I will be able to restrain myself from decking him.”

Oh, and to top things off, when I got up to pee around 8:00am, the door to our shared bath was locked. Two hours later, it was still locked, so I asked Greg & C if there was someone in the bathroom. They pounded on the door. No answer. So, they jimmied the lock and opened the door. And there, lying on the floor in a puddle of vomit with no pants on, was the girl staying the bedroom down the hall.

Greg called to the girl’s friends, “You guys need to get up here! There is a girl passed out in the bathroom.” The friends whined, “Do we have to?” and Greg said, “Yes. It’s not pretty.” So they came upstairs and there was a lot of gagging and near-vomiting from the smell, (which caused me, suffering from m/s & emetophobia, to sprint to my door and slam it shut). And there was laughing. So Greg yelled at them, “Yeah, it’s REALLY funny!”

Oh, and at some point in the morning, my old roommate said, "Some people were mad at 5:30am, and SOME of us were having FUN!"

So it took me all week to recover from that! We used to be those people who would stay up until dawn drinking, (although I never drank to the point of passing out). We used to do keg stands and beer bongs and way too many shots and yell and scream and run around. I used to call my friends who were married and close to having kids “boring” because they liked to be in bed before midnight. But we were 23, not 33. We’ve grown up. I guess it takes some people longer to do so :P

At least we have a story we will always reminisce about. “Remember that jackass Greg wanted to punch? Haha. What a jerk.”

First OB Visit Today

I had my first visit with the OB's office today. If I had to sum it up in one word, I would have to choose "overwhelming." They gave me a huge folder with all sorts of info, and then a nurse sat down with me and went over everything. That's when I realized how much is involved with this whole having a baby thing. I have to go to the doctor every few weeks??? There are childbirth AND Lamaze classes? And I have to sign-up for them by 24-weeks? That's so soon! And there are infant CPR, baby care, and breastfeeding classes? All I’ve done so far is read the first few chapters of WTEWYE. And we have to buy so much baby stuff and plan a nursery. OMG! I must order Baby Bargains now so I can start the planning!

I will admit, though, that I got all mushy and excited when I opened up my free gift from Similac and there was a pacifier in there. Aw, my first baby item is in the house! I cannot wait to meet this little one!

I also got weighed when I first arrived - I've already gained three pounds :/ I think I need to cut back on the cheesy poofs. (For some reason, m/s has me wanting only food that is really bad for me, like Cheese-its and Smart Food.) Thanks to the extra pounds, (and the few that I gained before I got pregnant due to drowning my IF sorrows in two glasses of wine each night), I am already very uncomfortable in most of my pants. I've been using the Be Band and the rubber band trick, but most of my shirts are not long enough to cover the band or hide my unzipped fly. So, I made my first maternity purchases today – I bought a long black maternity tee and another regular, long, flowy tee at Target. I also had some new bras, (because my boobs are already huge), and bigger pants on my shopping list, but I was tired and hungry, so instead, I came home and ate lunch and half a bag of Smart Food, and then took a nap.

So, back to my OB visit. I also got my flu shot, which is making me feel like crap right now, (as it always does the evening after I get it). I also asked if they would be getting any H1N1 vaccine once the shot version comes in, because, being in two risk categories, I really want it. The nurse said she didn’t know. Hopefully at least CF clinic will get some.

The appointment lasted almost an hour, and then I had to get some blood drawn. I go back in two weeks for an exam with the doctor.

Oh, and one other thing: I haven’t taken Colistin in 4 weeks because it’s been my “off” month. I am scheduled to go back on it this weekend, but I am nervous about taking a Pregnancy Category C medicine in the first trimester. I know it’s important to weigh the risk of Colisitin with the risk of not taking it and then having a lung exacerbation, I just don’t know what those risks are. I’ve heard that, because it’s inhaled, the amount that reaches the fetus is small. But, the baby is only the size of a grape and is currently developing some vital organs, so, couldn’t even a small amount have an impact? I haven’t cultured PA in two years – so, does this mean it shouldn’t be a big deal to go off it for another month, or would I be taking a huge risk of the PA coming back if I don’t continue it? I have no idea. My OB wants me to discuss this with my CF doctor (she called me after the appointment to talk to me about it). I need to call clinic tomorrow.

Lastly, I got the bill for all my OB stuff from today through childbirth, (not including extra visits, lab work, or hospital charges): $584 after insurance, which has to be paid in full in two weeks. (the before-insurance cost for vaginal delivery is $3,200). I didn't see that one coming. As much as I hate my job, I must say it's a good thing I am still working!

Back From U/S

Our little bean's heart is still beating. Thank you God. I was so terrified when we were in there, and our RE was so somber. I felt like I was going to throw up when he started lubing up the dildo cam. For a split second, all I could see was the sac and I freaked out, but then I saw the baby, and then I saw its heartbeat. And then I cried.

The RE also pointed out that the sac is high in my uterus and said that was a good sign.

I was also told that I should take as much time off work as possible for the rest of the week, which means I had to tell my boss what is going on :P The RE also said I have to call them at the end of the week to let them know if I am still spotting.

So, I don't feel completely out of the woods, but, I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

U/S at 2:00

I am terrified, but also can't wait to get an answer. The fact that the spotting is brown is not reassuring me at all, because it was brown when we had the m/c the last time we were PG. Greg is coming with me, which I am grateful for.

Ugh

Spotting. Yesterday morning I was standing in the yard, calling for my cat, when I felt a sudden gush of water. I rushed to the bathroom to check it out, and saw that my panties were wet and there was brown spotting. So, of course I freaked. There was more spotting when I wiped, but, after a few wipes it was gone. I called the on-call nurse's line at my OB's office, and they said it was a "yellow flag" and that I should call my RE's office, because they had just seen me on Friday. The on-call doctor at the RE's office said I should keep an eye on it and go to the ER if it got worse. Otherwise, I should stay on pelvic rest and call the RE Monday morning.

The last time, when the spotting started, it didn't just stop right away - it continued for days, almost every time I wiped, so, I started to relax a little and almost convinced myself it was caused by Friday's ultrasound. This would make sense if it was just spotting - but I don’t get what would have caused the whole rush of water thing.

Then, it happened again until last night, although it was on a much smaller scale. Still, I am not liking this and I hope I can get another u/s soon. I am still having PG symptoms, (my boobs are killing me and I almost threw up last night), so hopefully that is a good sign. But, doctor Google told me that you can continue to have PG symptoms with a missed m/c, so, of course I am still freaking out!

Update: Right after I posted this, it happened again - I felt a gush of water, and, when I wiped, there was a bunch of watery stuff mixed with brown. Now I am officially freaking out. I called my RE's office and left a message with the receptionist, and she is going to talk to the doctor and call me back.

7w1d Ultrasound

Here is this morning’s picture of our sweet little gummy bear:


I can’t believe we can already see it’s little arms and legs. I already want to kiss it. Everything is still looking great. The baby is measuring 7w0d, so we are only one day off, and the RE said that is most likely measurement error. We could see the heart beating much more clearly this time, too.

And, with that, we graduated from the RE! Our RE had us come into his office after the u/s and congratulated us. He was so sweet and said he knew what a hard road it had been for us and that he was really happy for us. He also told us we have to bring the baby in for him to meet after it is born. And he gave us each a hug.

When we left the appointment, Greg said, “Nothing can ruin my day now! Everyone at work can just fuck off!” (His job has been stressful lately). As we were getting into our cars, I said, “Congratulations!” and he replied, “Congrats, momma.” That’s the first time he’s ever called me that :D